5 Signs You’re Not Ready to Be a Stay-at-Home Parent

It's a big decision to stay home after having a baby — but doing so isn't an option that is right for every mother.

Sometimes new mothers have a hard time deciding if they want to return to work after their baby is born, especially after bonding with their child during maternity leave. Sometimes there is no choice — like if you’re a single parent or your family can’t afford to live solely on your partner’s salary — and there’s not much left to do but head back to the office.

Women who have the option to stay home with a baby may have trouble weighing the pros and cons. As hard as it is to decide, there might be some fairly obvious signs that you’re actually not ready to be a stay-at-home mom. Of course, these tip offs apply to all those prospective stay-at-home dads, too.

Here are a few signs you’re not ready to be a stay-at-home parent.

1. You Have a Budget But Don’t Follow It 

Having a budget is one thing, but following it is something entirely different. Just because it looks like you have your finances under control on paper, if your credit card statements tell a different story, you might need to reconsider staying home, at least until you can get your spending under control. (Curious how your credit card debt is affecting your credit? You can see a free snapshot of your credit report here.)

Having a baby is bound to bring in even more expenses (according to the Department of Agriculture, the current cost of raising a child through age 17 is a whopping $233,610), so if you already have trouble following a budget — or you haven’t updated your budget yet to include everything your baby will need — you may want to consider seeing what following an updated budget would be like for at least a month before deciding if you can afford to live on one salary.

2. You Haven’t Saved for Retirement Yet/You Have No Retirement Savings Plan if You Quit

It’s no secret that Americans are worried about retirement. In fact, one recent survey found that 56% of Americans lose sleep over saving for retirement, while another found that 38% of millennials find retirement to be a significant financial stressor. Even if you have started saving but it’s been a few years since you’ve checked in on your progress, it may be time for a bump in how much you put away … something that will be much more difficult to do if you decide to leave your job.

Of course parents who decide to stay at home do have options when it comes to retirement (spousal IRAs, self-employed retirement funds and rollover accounts, to name a few). But if you don’t qualify for them, don’t care to look into them or can’t afford to put anything else away if you leave your job, it’s probably best to reconsider leaving until you can. You can read this guide to learn more about IRAs.

3. Your Partner’s Health Insurance Options for You & Your Baby Are Subpar at Best

While the future of healthcare is a little shaky right now, there’s one thing you can safely assume no matter what happens — you and your baby will need some. Newborns spend the first six months of their lives visiting a pediatrician at least once a month (often much more frequently in their first few weeks), and new moms, in particular, will have plenty of check-ups with their OB as well. These aren’t things you’ll want to do without health insurance, so if your partner’s options for you and your child don’t stack up, staying on yours until something better comes along is a good idea.

4. Your Emergency Savings Account Is Minimal

You might think having three months worth of bills covered in an emergency account is great — and it is — but it might not be enough if you’re considering leaving your job. Experts recommend having at least three to six months’ worth of bills covered in an emergency savings account, and that doesn’t really take into account all the extras that come along with having a baby. If you’ll be moving into a house from an apartment for more space, assume that you’ll have random projects pop up that will start draining that emergency fund quickly. If your partner can afford to keep funding the account to cover for any withdrawals you take or to provide you with more of a cushion that’s one thing, but if the account has been stagnant for a while and your family can’t afford to put anything else away right now, maybe a better idea is to stay at your job and slowly build up the emergency account a bit more so that when/if the time comes that you leave your job, you’ll feel more secure knowing your emergency funds are all there.

(And, if you don’t have a savings account at all, you’ll want to start socking away dollars ASAP. No need to panic, though: This piece will help you create an emergency fund in 30 days or less.)

5. You Struggle Spending All Day Alone with the Baby During Work Leave

Let’s be honest — babies are tough to take care of. So if you find it difficult to stay positive while on maternity or paternity leave, that might be a sign that you’re not quite ready stay home full time with a baby. Working is about a lot more than just a paycheck — it’s about having some time to yourself (funny how commutes suddenly become a wonderful thing) and with other adults, and it’s about having a job to do that both stimulates and fulfills you. If you don’t think staying at home with a baby will do all of those things for you, it’s probably best for you, and your family, if you head back to work.

This story is an Op/Ed contribution to Credit.com and does not necessarily represent the views of the company or its partners.

Image: g-stockstudio

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