A new service called The Breakup Shop aims to help non-confrontational people dump whoever they’re dating. For as little as $10, they can get the job done by text or email, replacing a task nearly everyone does for free currently.
Like Cards Against Humanity’s Black Friday prank, in which people paid $5 to literally get nothing, The Breakup Shop proves there’s a market for everything.
Of course, value depends on what your time is worth. You could agonize over a breakup, so outsourcing may be more efficient. Or perhaps you’re thinking, “I can do this for free!” even though DIY projects rarely turn out the way you want. “Let us handle the messy work of the breakup, so you can spend more time swiping right,” the company says, referencing the dating app Tinder. You’re busy, and a failing relationship is a poor investment!
But why invest in something that’s losing its value? The Breakup Shop sells gift cards for a steady supply of streaming at $40 and up, packages of Chips Ahoy cookies for $6, and poo-scented breakup cards for $10. There are even nearly $100 gift packs that come with a vessel—called the Memory Oven—for dumpees to burn mementos.
If you want to break up in a more frugal way, you can take the ghosting route like Charlize Theron. There’s a conflict-avoiding option for every budget—you just have to find it.
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